Abby's Birthday, Part I

Armed with chips, juicy juices, cupcakes, goody bags, and the necessary plates and napkins, the party literally started when we walked in.

It's not the first year we celebrated my sister's birthday in school. And it probably won't be the last. But seeing as how it was her first birthday since my brother's return home (in fact, the first he's attended since enlisting), it was extra special. 

I began seeing a lot of things differently since my brother returned home from his deployment. I heard so much and read even more that I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know which Danny I would get back. On the Fourth of July, the first outing we participated in, I was almost waiting to see him change. Not snap, but become someone I wouldn't recognize. They say war changes you but since his return, I could only see my older brother that would sneak me his vegetables when we were kids or tease me for not knowing how to ride a bike. When the fireworks started, he didn't grip the chairs so hard that his knuckles whitened. His jaw didn't clench. No ghosts flickered behind his eyes. His disposition was as it was before he enlisted. I know not all on the front line experience PTSD, but the media and support programs emphasize it to the extent that it's not possible to not consider the possibility. Playland after that, Sesame Place after that, maybe I saw what I wanted, or maybe he stopped trying to put up a front and accepted who he was. Either way, I am glad he's back and home. It's been less than 90 days since his return, but each day is something new. And I know Abby is glad, too.  

We arrived near the end of the day so there was about 40 minutes before dismissal. Her teacher thought me to be Abby's aunt. Mom had a laugh out of that one because it means Mom looks young enough for us to be sisters. And when all was distributed and the children were indulging in the sugar and salt that wraps a birthday experience, I was constantly appraised by the children for 'looking just like Abby' (I get my looks from her, not the other way around). Couple that with my constant itch to wipe the crumbs off Nico's clothes and to remind Abby to be humble, the children speculated whether or not an older sister's responsibility should border a parental role. Shouldn't every close and genuine relationship-- blood or not-- share a sense of care and protection?

Well, Abby had fun and her classmates had a treat. Danny smiled one of his rare smiles when the class waved goodbye to Nico like he was a peer, too. Nico took another 'field trip' to school, which he so desperately wishes to be a part of. And I have the opportunity to live today, document this, and relive it.

Happy birthday, Abby. The day isn't over yet.